As many of you probably know, Alex took my last name
when we got married.
The night we decided to get married we were in the pinkish dark up on the top deck of my families beach rental soaking in the warm salty air of the NC coast. Our hearts were all jittery with the commitment we had just decided on, and that is when Alex told me he would like to take
Loomer as a last name. He explained that although he loved his
Carmona roots and family, there were already so many of them~ and there were very few
Loomers to pass on the name~ so it just felt right to him.
It seemed so novel in that moment and I accepted his offer to take my paternal family name that night. I worried aloud what his Dad might feel about it, and I teased that his man friends might make fun of him. I also knew this was one more notch in some people's minds of me being weird or annoyingly against the grain. In any case I felt honored that I was with a man who suggest such a thing. Maybe a little bit of the feminist in me was gloating too...
I do think it is a shame that each of us has such varied and complex
genealogy and ancestors, and it is only the paternal side that gets noted and passed on. My grandparents were Oakley,
Westervelt, Francisco, and
Loomer. Alex's grandparents were: Powers,
McDermand,
Carmona, and he doesn't even know his paternal grandmother's maiden name. Anyway, of all these last names,
Loomer is what is being passed on.
Aside from it being "weird", there is a practical reason why not to do this. It was
VERY difficult to make this legal. It seems wildly sexist to me that it was so hard~ but that is how it is. People look at you like you have three heads. Getting Alex a new social security card was the biggest
rigmarole headache... it was ridiculous how nobody knew what to do with him.
And people are always confused about Alex and David being brothers but having different last names. And I still have a nagging feeling that somehow I stole the father to son heritage~ or messed up the rational order of things at the very least.
I know a lot of folks are probably thinking "f-en hippies" while rolling their eyes when we have to explain that he took my name. But a lot of people say "that is really special" too.
It has become normal to me as the years go by but I was reminded of it all when Alex went to the vital records office last week to get Eliseo's birth certificate. Ralph, the man who types up the birth and death certificates for
Buncombe county, looked at the form Alex had filled out. In the space reserved for my maiden name on the sheet Alex had written "same". Ralph stared at it for a long time and then cleared his throat. Then he said to Alex, "So uh... did you marry a relative?"
"The Loomers"
(plus honorary member: cousin Gita)These were created for us by my friend
Liz.
Aren't they amazing in a slightly creepy
(because they look so much like us) but fantastic sort of way??? Each doll is so thoughtfully made with tiny tiny details.
Lili has been really enjoying playing with them.
Click here to visit Liz's
etsy shop where she custom makes these sweet dolls!
(although at the moment she is taking a short hiatus while she sells her house and buys a new one)
Quiet gray day...
just enjoying my simple day of lots of laundry and such. seo is napping in the sling, and lili and i are dancing and cleaning the kitchen to this:
"The Loomers" 
driving to Kindermusik in the morning.
Lili's amazing Kindermusik teacher, Miss Beth, sing-reading a story to the kids...
2nd grocery store of the day. As we were walking out I said "Thank you sooooo much for being such a great listener in Ingles today Lili! You were awesome!" and she replied, "I didn't scream!" and I said "Right. thank you for not screaming." 
Seo tagged along and slept most of the day. We went and filled out his birth certificate at the vital records office.
She looked so peaceful as she napped between errands in her car seat.
and how do you know for sure? because when I am driving up my mountain (especially if I have been gone for a while) my whole body tingles with joy. 
dear Mom, I love to see you cheesing out with Lili. 
Attempting to do some sketches/drawings for some new paintings with Seo on my lap. Challenging, but even the little bit that I was able to do was satisfying.
*One of my best childhood friends, Ca
ren, came to visit us for a few days. It didn't take Lili and her daughter (who is 2 years older) to start bickering like siblings, but they had plenty of goofy, fun times mixed in as well. Caren and I caught up over glasses of wine late at night, and played/parented the girls by day. These are photos from when we dragged the kids (three car seats in th
e back of the Subaru!) to the thrift store to try to find some clothes to fit my new postpartum body(friends are so good for that kind of thing.) Of course the fitting room with the harsh lights and honest mirror is rarely a feel-good place to be, but the girls brought some humor to it all. I had to break up their silliness once they started licking the mirror however.
*We had baby goats!!!
*And
photo courtesy of my friend Caren
