birthday

My dearest Lilikoi,
I have spare moment while I wait for you to come home from your play-date. I am sitting at the computer eating a honeycrisp apple, and thinking about the day you were born two years ago. It was a day much like today with the fog rising and giving way to a sunny fallish day... Time is a funny thing~ at one moment two years seems like a blip, and in other moments I am struck speechless by the vast and unexplainable ways two years with you has altered me. Haven't I always known you? How could it possibly only have been two years?
This year has brought incredible growth on your part. The things you comprehend now astound me daily. Whole songs pop out of your mouth, you recognize patterns in your life and talk about them, you remember people and places and minute details that I totally overlook.
Today when I was dropping you off at your play-date you were already engrossed in the toy box before I left. I called good-bye to you and you looked up at me and started to wave. Then you came running for me and gave me the sweetest hug and kiss on my lips and then ran back to play. I had a fleeting thought did she do that for my sake? I can't think of a single time you have ever clung to my leg screaming for me not to leave. It seems you are trusting in the good sense of the word. I would love to claim some of you assurance in the world, and your place in it, as something I taught you... but I think it is a trait you came with... something you are teaching me.

You seem to really "get" that it is your birthday today. You are loving the birthday song and all the balloons. Daddy and I stayed up late decorating the house with crepe paper and balloons last night. It was too bad that he was milking the goats and missed the big grin on your face when you came downstairs this morning.
We are having a carrot-cake-before-dinner party for you this afternoon. I feel so blessed that you will be (and are) surrounded by such loving and amazing people. All of whom love and are ready to support you when you need it. Maybe this is our biggest gift to you so far...
The gifts you give me are innumerable. Every single day my heart literally fills with joy at the little things you do. Things like saying "I dove you" when you mean to say I love you. I am so proud of the person you are, and are becoming.

Two years ago I was holding this newborn baby in the sunlight of the hospital room... You and I worked together to birth you into this world. It took a lot of courage on both of our parts. Courage that is passed from mother to child all the way back through our ancestors. This courage is still fresh for me two years later~ that is the biggest reason it feels just like a blip of time. But on the other hand, these two years feel long and wider than most. I feel like I have loved you forever.
Love, Mama


Here is the first video that daddy took of you while I was showering: ♥