i had a little sad day today.
probably a lot to do with Haiti and the general underlying knowledge that so many people at once are feeling scared and hurt and in pain. and yet my day here went on as normal.
sad that i feel so close in some ways to having this baby, and yet feel so unprepared. having not started to do yoga to prepare for the birth. no raspberry leaf tea every single day like i did with lili. no little onesies and diapers all folded cutely yet. not even the beginnings of a tidy and organized bedroom to fit our new family.

there is lots of guilt though... which is a terrible and cliche way to start of being the mother of two children...

i did leave alex to do the bedtime routine with lili tonight, and i got together with my girlfriends. and i do feel a little lighter now thanks to them.
it is the close of this day, and tomorrow is a new day.


Caren said...

I love you! I have been having a sad week too, and I know that Haiti has been weighing on my heart. I'm looking forward to coming down and doing whatever I can to help you get ready! I can't wait!

Take lots of time for yourself these days... It's so important!

Christina said...

I felt similarly with my second--unprepared and also really ready to not be pregnant (something about already having one that made it much less enjoyable.Also the morning sickness.) But then I had him--and it was a delight. So much easier than the first time around...and he was laid back and fit anywhere. It didn't matter that everything wasn't perfectly prepared! So, deep breaths and enjoy. You'll love having two. Everything will come back and you'll be able to enjoy the newborn-ness of it all so much more with your second.