i had a little sad day today.
probably a lot to do with Haiti and the general underlying knowledge that so many people at once are feeling scared and hurt and in pain. and yet my day here went on as normal.
sad that i feel so close in some ways to having this baby, and yet feel so unprepared. having not started to do yoga to prepare for the birth. no raspberry leaf tea every single day like i did with lili. no little onesies and diapers all folded cutely yet. not even the beginnings of a tidy and organized bedroom to fit our new family.
there is lots of guilt though... which is a terrible and cliche way to start of being the mother of two children...
i did leave alex to do the bedtime routine with lili tonight, and i got together with my girlfriends. and i do feel a little lighter now thanks to them.
it is the close of this day, and tomorrow is a new day.