goodbye my love.

I had to put Salome to sleep yesterday.
I feel a little bit nauseous today and I am not sure if I am coming down with something, or if it is residual from the tightness in my chest over Salome's passing. Either way, I feel not right, and I already miss her horribly.

I got back from the beach and she was very sick.
It was kidney failure. And she was uncomfortable and weak. She didn't have the energy to make it in the litter box. Didn't want to eat or drink... even her favorite~ the leftover cereal milk...

The people at the vet were all very nice, they gave me hugs, and tissues, and held fussy Seo so I could pet her while they put her to sleep. When they folded her curled and dead body in the baby blanket I had brought her in she was so tiny. She barely took up any space.

Some Salome information:
1. At the vet yesterday the receptionist called her Salami. She seemed embarrassed~ I just laughed. It was the only funny moment at the vet. Even if we are notorious for choosing hard to figure out names, I didn't name her. An old roommate did. It was Salome, pronounced like Salome who did the dance of the 7 veils from the bible.
2. I always thought she looked like a barn owl. Like the ones I have been painting.
3. She was a unique cat. Maybe if you aren't a cat lover you would scoff at this fact, but I feel deep in my bones that she was really different. I have loved all the cats over the years and many friends cats as well~ but Salome was one of a kind.

We decided to tell Lili.
We started by telling her we had some sad news.
and when we told her Salome was gone she said "Oh".
and we said "Like for good. She went bye-bye forever".
and Lili was just staring at us with a puzzled look on her face~ and Alex and I were just staring at each other unsure of how to explain the concept of death to a 2 year old.

how do you explain something so vast? something so basic.

something you don't fully understand yourself?

"Salome is in the bathroom?" she asked after what we said had sunk in.
"No" said Alex, "She's not in the bathroom, she is dead. That means she is gone."
and Lili said "Uh, oh... That's nooo good".

"Well, I think she is probably happy... maybe she is is up in the sky." I said.
"Salome is in the sky???"
"Um, sort of... maybe. She is in the sky and in the ground... she is all around us now. She is a spirit kitty now."
She looked doubtful, amazed, puzzled.
"She has her tail?" she questioned (Salome had her tail amputated 8 years ago)
"Her tail! Right! Salome has found her tail!... she will be so happy."

"Are you sad?"
"Yes, I miss Salome"
"I give you a hug then."

(((family hug)))